what it feels like to be depressed and suicidal (for me)

If only this society could treat psychological illness the same as they treat physical iillnes, I think there won’t be many people who suffer from unnecessary pain from hiding their illness.  I’d like to describe vividly what it feels like to be depressed and suicidal. The longest streak this bastard has ever conquer me is around […]


It has been a while since I post something positive, hasn’t it?  Trying something new won’t hurt I think and this is why I try to write something positive about hope. You know this year up until this very second, I haven’t been feeling really well. Starting on late January, everything started to fall apart. […]

honest feeling

“How beautiful it is to be human.
That we can fall asleep drowning in tears and pain but wake to a new sunrise on a new day with a dry face.” – Cherry & Steiner, 2018.

Continue reading “honest feeling”

babbling about passion and work

Have you ever think where you really wanna go for the next 10 years? Have you feel like suffocating when you couldn’t find the answer to that question? Have you ever felt lost and wanting to give up so badly in life because you couldn’t seem to figure out what is your life purpose? Should’ve […]

on falling in love

For almost 4 months I haven’t been paying any attention to any specific “real” boys in my life. I fixed my eyes only for Super Junior. They got all my love, my attention, my dedication, everything. And in return, they push all the goods inside me. Even 60% of my progress on healing myself is […]

finding God through Super Junior

What a title, isn’t it? 🙂 Yet it’s true. That’s what happened to me recently. I cannot say that I’m a religious person after all. I often had doubts upon my faith, often stumbled into confusion when I tried to get closer to God. I questioned my faith, my christianity, my spiritual life. Because things […]

Looking back: Life Class of 2018

Been a while since my last post. So many things has changed. Mostly, myself. I learned so much this year. This past few months teach me a lot of things. A few lessons I can share here are: Family is important, no matter how tough your family can be. Recovery is not an easy journey. […]