what it feels like to be depressed and suicidal (for me)

If only this society could treat psychological illness the same as they treat physical iillnes, I think there won’t be many people who suffer from unnecessary pain from hiding their illness.  I’d like to describe vividly what it feels like to be depressed and suicidal. The longest streak this bastard has ever conquer me is around […]

giving up

things are started to getting out of hand. thoughts of giving up creep into me. i start losing people i love, one by one, they go away first they walk away slowly, then the pace turns faster and when i realize, i have no one already.   never thought i’m good at keeping relations, a […]


I feel in love with a wrong guy. Or maybe he is the right one, on the wrong time. There is no such thing as making someone “the one” for you, creating a perfect partner. You can’t change people, you gotta wake up from our own illusion. No, that’s not how love works. And there […]

the need of relatedness: explained

You must’ve heard people complaining about how one is being left behind by their friends. He told you that his friend mistreated him, therefore leaving him feeling devastated. Or another version of this story: one told you that he/she was lonely, feeling like he/she didn’t have any friends. And another possibility is, you might felt […]

I’m a stranger to myself

One thing I realise lately is I’ve been weird. I’m not myself anymore. I wasn’t the present me. Every living human in this world serves a purpose – whether you do believe in God or not, this is a key point to a fullness in life. And entering my 20s, I guess asking what’s truly […]

finding God

Everything happened for a reason, and I truly believe it. I can’t say that I’m a faithful believer, but I find God through my hardships. Here’s my story for today. Today has been a rough day for me. Rain was pouring down since dawn until the day changed into night. I couldn’t get to class […]

the feeling of being needed

It’s 1AM in the morning and I’m still up because I’m filled with emotions, thoughts, and assignments to do. My chatrooms aren’t too noisy, only 2 people I correspond to right now. My phone line is busy, my friend is on the line, listening to me while I cry and vent. Thankfully, I’m feeling much […]