what it feels like to be depressed and suicidal (for me)

If only this society could treat psychological illness the same as they treat physical iillnes, I think there won’t be many people who suffer from unnecessary pain from hiding their illness.  I’d like to describe vividly what it feels like to be depressed and suicidal. The longest streak this bastard has ever conquer me is around […]

another depression story

How bad depression is? It’s worse than what you can imagine. Imagine your hobby, and you want to do it, but you cannot find any motivation to do it. No, it’s not being lazy. It’s just, you don’t know what’s keeping you from doing it, but you don’t anyway.  There are many aspects of depression. […]

Sunday, March 24th 2019

This blog gets a little bit personal each time, doesn’t it? This is Sunday morning and I’m feeling like sharing about myself (again). I recently discovered I love peaceful and quiet morning. I love how it gives me calmer mind to think about everything that happens in my life, how it gives me time to […]

finding God through Super Junior

What a title, isn’t it? 🙂 Yet it’s true. That’s what happened to me recently. I cannot say that I’m a religious person after all. I often had doubts upon my faith, often stumbled into confusion when I tried to get closer to God. I questioned my faith, my christianity, my spiritual life. Because things […]

giving up

things are started to getting out of hand. thoughts of giving up creep into me. i start losing people i love, one by one, they go away first they walk away slowly, then the pace turns faster and when i realize, i have no one already.   never thought i’m good at keeping relations, a […]

i want to live

as i’m typing for this post, i was thinking, “where the hell are the drafts i’ve made?” turns out the page has not been loaded a hundred percent. hahahaha.   it’s getting pretty late. the sun is rising in less than an hour. i haven’t got to sleep yet. this is not my first time, […]

about the battle (2)

This past few days has been a continuous battle for me, like the other day. But the battle is getting more intense as the day goes by. I’ve been experiencing so many ups and downs. There are times where my thoughts are really nice, they’re as warm as the sunshine, as alive as the sun. […]